Youth Minister and the Electrician

Working in youth ministry means that you have to wear a lot of hats. From event planning, to accounting, to web design, to tech guru, to management skills, counseling skills, biblical scholarship, crisis management, and team dynamics the skills are vast and mandatory. One skill I never thought I'd need was to be an electrician. Now I've done my fair share of mission trips where that skill would have been helpful but to be honest electricity scares me. It's invisible, fast, and can kill you. Scary.

A few weeks ago it struck me how the Holy Spirit is much like electricity and to work in youth ministry is to operate like an electrician. As a youth minister I can't change hearts. I can't heal situations, I can't open eyes. (Eph 1:18) What I can do is create opportunities for the spirit to do those things.

• Like an electrician designs a circuit I can put together a program. 
• As an electrician puts wire down I can build relationships with teenagers. 
• As an electrician understands grounding, voltage, and amps I can preach the gospel faithfully and let the spirit flow freely over those areas channels. 

We do all these things with the desire that electricity will flow over our plans and Christ's kingdom will come. Hopefully like a defibrillator the spirit like electricity can bring back from the dead the heart that is far from it's creator. 

*Thanks to the preaching ministry of Dr. Piper for the original idea of electricity and the spirit.

Semester Update

Well if you haven't noticed the blog has been quiet. That's largely due to the fact that our semester is off and rolling in the student ministry. We have several large hurdles to overcome, and are launching some new things too. Over all we are looking at a great semester seeing the gospel transform peoples lives. Here's a sneak peek at some of the stuff we got in the hopper...

• GodParent: GP is four weeks in March that we'll be gathering and equipping parents to see Christ's kingdom come in the lives of their teenagers. It'll be fun, practical, encouraging, and hopefully useful to those who attend. 
• Confirmation `11 This years confirmation class is going to be great. In many context confirmation would never be described as a "highlight". In our community the confirmation process is an amazingly intense time of discipleship and growth for our students. We'll be following a the pattern of our Christology informs our Ecclesiology which informs our missiology. It's a three step dance that all moves to the rhythm of the spirit.
• Hot Wheels Family Skate Night : This Sunday night is our annual Hot Wheels Family Skate Night. We love our families and love seeing them laugh together. Every year this event proves to be a fun time for everyone.  For all the information click here.

Sanctified Affliction

"No trial is to hard to bear as a sense of my sin.
If thou should give me choice to live in pleasure and keep my sin,
Or to have them burnt away with trial,
Give me sanctified affliction."

- Valley of Vision

My take on MTV's Skins

Is it entertainment? Is it a reflection of teenage life? Is it fun to watch but doesn't effect you? Is it harmless? My thoughts? Ok buckle up...

Skins, like Jersey Shore, Citizen Kane, or Dallas is a form or entertainment. At its simplest level its art. So when you look at the nature of MTV's latest offering marketed to teenagers please ask...

• Is this art reflecting life or is it life imitating art? MTV would have us believe that this is entertainment. It's reflecting elements of culture that the general public finds pleasing to watch. I'd have to disagree. From where I sit MTV might say that yet the way the program is received will in fact set a standard of "what everyone else is doing" in the minds of young people. This over sexualization of teenagers, normality of illegality drug use, and near dependence of alcohol make loud statements of what is pleasing, yet never satisfying for the human condition.  Please don't make the case that watching this kind of programing "doesn't effect you." that simply underplays your ability to consume media and makes you look more like a finger puppet then a human with a brain, heart, and a soul. Something in you makes you want to watch it and that same thing enjoys it. Therefore you are effected by it.  Thanks Oscar Wilde.

• What's a person to do? Well the favorite Christian attack is to boycott. Good luck with that. I'm sure Viacom will miss your business. For me it's actually an opportunity. All though scripture we see God using dark situations to bring about great good. So where's the opportunity in this cultural event? 

1.  I think it's an opportunity for parents to talk with their kids. Even if your kids haven't seen it, they have heard about it.
2.  I think it's an opportunity for us to point to the hopelessness of hedonism and the hope that Christ offers.
3.  Finally it's an opportunity to encourage young people to examine how they consume media. Everything is a sermon preaching some kind of message. From Twilight, to Harry Potter, to Family Guy, to Narnia, to Skins. What sermons are you letting past your defenses without even knowing it?

p.s. Want to see where we're headed? Supposedly there's an original version of Skins on in the UK that makes our American version look like the Disney Channel. 

TED on a Movement from Start to Finish in 3 Min.

I know I've written about this before but it's just leadership gold. As we work with students, families, staff, and congregations some of the principles in this video really ring true.

• Who are your first followers? 
• What is your tipping point? 
• Where do you need to treat followers as equals?

Grilled Cheese

Thursdays are important. They are simple days that I get to spend lunch with my daughter. Our food today... the grilled cheese. I'm no food blogger and I highly doubt you care what I had for lunch. However I do feel the need to say that I consider myself a self made grilled cheese artist. Today for example my little girl and I had sharp cheddar stuffed with lightly fried pancetta on honey wheat toasted to perfection. We also took a stab at cheddar stuffed with a some honey ham on wheat sans crust. All this together with a creamy tomato soup reduction. C'est magnifique. How do you make time with your kids fun and important?

Resource for Families: Two Minutes With John Rosemond

I got a few minutes to speak with author, speaker, and nationally syndicated columnist John Rosemond on what he'd say to the parents of teenagers...

Run the Race

I had the opportunity to cheer on the runners at the Charleston marathon today. I have to admire all the runners and their commitment. What impressed me was that they all were't the same. Young, old, fit, and well struggling they all were out there slugging it out mile after mile. It spoke of their determination.



I wonder what that kind of determination looks like in youth ministry? What does it look like to train for a ministry marathon? The author of Hebrews wants to run the race with endurance (Heb 12:1) So do I.

Resource for Families: John Rosemond

If you haven't heard St. Andrews is hosting a great two part seminar with John Rosemond called...

There are two sessions to this very informational talk. Lead by John Rosemond - Best-selling author and America's most popular speaker on parenting and family issues. Session 1 is 2pm - 3:30pm and session 2 is 4pm -5:30pm. Tickets are $15 in advance and $20 at the door. Tickets may be purchased at the church office or online. More information please cal 843-284-4329 or www.WeAreStAndrews.com

Resource for Families: Who Saves Your Child? You?

This appeared over on another website called The Gospel Coalition its by Paul Tripp who also wrote one of my favorite books on parenting teenagers called "The Age of Opportunity" I believe this has a profound impact on how we approach parenting out children...

Parenting: The Joyful Impossibility

It was eleven o’clock on a Sunday night, and I was pulling out of the grocery store parking lot exhausted and overwhelmed. After we had put our four children to bed, later than we had planned, Luella discovered that we had nothing in the house to pack for lunches the next day. With an attitude that couldn’t be described as joy, I got in the car and did the late-night food run. As I waited for the light to change so I could leave the parking lot and drive home, it all hit me. It seemed like I had been given an impossible job to do; I had been chosen to be the dad of four children.

It is humbling and a bit embarrassing to admit, but I sat in my car and dreamed of what it would be like to be single. No, I didn’t want to actually leave Luella and my children, but parenting seemed overwhelming at that point. I felt like I had nothing left to face the next day of a thousand sibling battles, a thousand authority encounters, a thousand reminders, a thousand warnings, a thousand corrections, a thousand discipline moments, a thousand explanations, a thousand times of talking about the presence and grace of Jesus, a thousand times of helping the children to look in the mirror of God’s Word and see themselves with accuracy, a thousands “please forgive me’s,” and a thousand “I love you’s.” It seemed impossible to be faithful to the task and have the time and energy to anything else.

Now, I’m about to write something here that may seem counter-intuitive and quasi-irrational, but here it is: That moment in the car was not dark and horrible. No, it was a precious moment of faithful grace. Rather than my burden growing heavier that evening, my burden lifted. Do I mean that suddenly parenting got simpler and easier? By no means! But something fundamental changed that evening for which I am eternally grateful.
There are two things I learned that evening that changed the experience of parenting for me.

1. I faced the fact that I had no ability whatsoever to change my children. In ways that I had been completely unaware of, I had loaded the burden of change unto my shoulders. I had fallen into believing that by the force of my logic, the threat of my discipline, the look on my face, or the tone of my voice, that I could change the hearts of my children, and in changing their hearts, change their behavior. Daily I would get up in the morning and try to be the self-appointed messiah of my children. And the more I tried to do what I have no power to do, the more it angered and disappointed me, and frustrated and discouraged them. It was a big mess. I was a pastor, yet I failed to see that in my parenting I denied the very gospel that I tried to faithfully preach Sunday after Sunday. In my home, as I tried to produce change and growth in my children, I acted as if there were no plan of redemption, no Jesus the Christ, no cross of sacrifice, no empty tomb, no living and active Holy Spirit. That evening God opened my eyes to the fact that I was asking the law to do what only grace could accomplish, and that would never work.

I began to understand that if all my children needed was a set of rules and a parent to function as a judge, jury, and jailer, Jesus would have never needed to come..."

Please continue reading by clicking here. 

Resource for Families: Warning About the Choking Game

That will never happen here right? I've talked to a lot of parents who are aware of several of these destructive tendencies of youth culture but still feel that it happens out there but not here. It covers all bases from choking, to cutting, to sexting, or huffing. It's a dark, and depraved part of the culture yet we as Christians are called to shine the light of Christ into the darkness and not turn a blind eye.

Recently we had a student hospitalized due to the choking game. This "game" got a lot of press several years ago but has faded from the media slightly. It basically consists of students asphyxiating themselves or each other to the point of near passing out. This produces an affect medically known as a "brown out"  this is done for several reasons(from Wikipedia) ...

•     During school, to get out of class.
•     Peer pressure, a challenge or dare, a rite of passage into a social group or amusement over erratic behavior.
•      Curiosity in an altered state of consciousness, the experience of a brownout, an imagined approximation to a near death experience.
•      A belief that it can induce a brief sense of euphoria (a rushing sensation or high).
•     A way to intensify an existing high (typically on drugs like ecstasy and LSD) for a short period of time.
•     The prospect of intoxication, albeit brief, at no financial cost.

It also cuts blood flow and oxygen to the brain which leads to bodily injury as organs begin to pool blood, shut down, and finally death. 

What can you do as a parent?

The most important thing you can do is to keep a clear line of communication open with your child. If the parent child relationship is designed to show us how God cares for us, his children, we know we always have an open line of communication to the father. (Luke 11:11-13) (2 Thes 2:16) How are the lines of honest open truthful communication with your children?

Here are some things to be on the look out for "...the CDC encourages parents, educators and health-care providers to familiarize themselves with the signs of the game.These include:

• Discussion of the game; 
• Bloodshot eyes; 
• Marks on the neck;
• Severe headaches; 
• Disorientation after spending time alone; 
• Ropes, scarves, and belts tied to bedroom furniture or doorknobs or found knotted on the floor;
• Unexplained presence of things like dog leashes, choke collars and bungee cords.

Relativism

"People don't embrace relativism because it is philosophically satisfying. They embrace it because it is physically and emotionally gratifying. It provides the cover they need at key moments in their lives to do what they want without the intrusion of absolutes."

Think by John Piper

From my vantage point.

This morning I rolled out of bed looking forward to a full day of meetings, appointments, time with students after school, and planning for a great semester. That all changed when I found my car caked in ice.

To get to church from where I live you have to cross at least one major bridge. So being smart and invincible I hopped into my car and headed out. I made it exactly one mile from home when the news anchor told me that all the major bridges have been closed. So I pulled a U turn and have resigned myself to snuggle my daughter today, kiss my wife, and use this opportunity to hole up in my study. To be with my creator, read his word (excellent sermon on scripture yesterday if you were at St. Andrews) and ponder what this semester might look like for the student ministry. Here's a snapshot of where I'm cloistered.





Enjoy your snow/ice day if you live in the south east.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Home Study

Pointless Fun: iarcade

Parents Resource: Girls: Beauty is in the Eye of...

As a farther of a daughter this is an important topic. If you haven't talked to you teenager about what beauty is yet please do soon. The world is constantly telling both guys and girls what beauty is and how if they only consume a product they will be closer to having value.

"Who sees the human face correctly: the photographer, the mirror, or the painter?

I believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. However the only beholder I care about is the one who constantly beholds me day and night.

^{Psalm 121:4}Behold, he who keeps Israel
   will neither slumber nor sleep

There are several interesting websites that show how glossy models that become the standard of beauty are actually unrealistic, airbrushed, highly edited photographs.

Resource for Families: Get a Whiteboard.

This is not the whiteboard in my kitchen!

Several years ago I was in a friends home and noticed he had written all over his fridge with black marker. Thinking this was strange I mentioned it to him. He replied that because the marker was dry erase it wiped off easily. Genius I thought. Something I should mention is that I'm a list person so making list on the fridge in the visible center of my kitchen seemed like a great idea. My friend also used this method to write Bible verses his family was trying to memorize or were relevant to what the Lord was leading them through in that season. This really go my attention.

In most of our homes the fridge is highly visible and easily accessible. What would it look like for your family to have a visible reminder of God's love where they walk past countless times a day. My bride took this one step further. She found a huge picture frame at a discount art supply store. Instead of putting a fine work of abstract painting in it she just turned over the piece of paper that came with the frame. Facing the glass now was the pristine white backing of the cheesy picture that came with the frame. She hung up our new stylish whiteboard next to our kitchen table. We use it to write scripture that is a constant reminder of how God loves our family and what we want to be about, It's a great witness to others who gather at our table for a meal, and hopefully it will be a great witness to our daughter of how we value God's word and want him to direct our lives for his glory.

This is not earth shattering, it's not the one step cure all, but it is a step in fulfilling that first commandment of passing the faith onto the next generation. 

Top 10 Blog Posts of 2010. All the cool kids are doing it.

So here are the top blog post from the last year of blogging.

10. My Top 5 Most Common Mistakes in Youth Ministry. 
Yup count them. So I've worked on. Others still need to be addressed.

9. To SOA/AM High School Students
This addressed a true tragedy that struck our area.

8. The Knee
 A personal one about my ACL repair

7. Uses for the Ipad in Youth Ministry
How will technology change the face of youth ministry?

6. Don't Raise Your Kids to Act Like Christians, Raise Them to Love Jesus.
The family as a church.

5. Book Review: Pure Scum
The story of an interesting church in Denver.

4. Having a Bad Day. 
Not any more. Nothing like some giggles to brighten a day.

3. Question Night at High School Alpha
 Not sure how this made number 3. It's a promo we did for a short course in Christianity.

2. On the Protest Next Week
A post I wrote to give our community some perspective on a national protest group visiting a local high school.

1. 10 Things That Make Youth Ministry More Effective in 2010
Looking back a year from now I'd say all of them hit the mark. It makes me wonder what will the next year look like?

Resolve For Monday

Every Monday I'm going to post one of Jonathan Edwards resolutions. He penned these while still a very young man and used them to guide his life. What am I using to guide me, my family, my ministry??

47. Resolved, To endeavour, to my utmost, to deny whatever is not most agreeable to a good and universally sweet and benevolent, quiet, peaceable, contented and easy, compassionate and generous, humble and meek, submissive and obliging, diligent and industrious, charitable and even, patient, moderate, forgiving, and sincere, temper; and to do, at all times, what such a temper would xxii lead me to; and to examine strictly, at the end of every week, whether I have so done. Sabbath morning, May 5, 1723.

Do you settle for lest then best? I love how Edwards said "to deny whatever is not MOST agreeable.

Again and again and again I'm taken back by Edwards regular and constant examination of his life. Where is this in my life?

Knee Update Part 2

Last August I tore my anterior cruciate ligament while surfing with some students off of the Isle of Palms here in sunny South Carolina. Since then it's been a journey rehabilitating my knee back to health this fall then over Christmas I finally had the surgery to replace  it. Let me say that I don't recommend it.   I will say that I've been pretty impressed with doctor. He had me up and moving a few hours after and it's been a steady stream of CMR (a machine that I lived in day and night for a week that constantly moves my knee) , ice, and physical therapy.  The trainers over at Rehab Centers of Charleston have been great. So the current update is that I'm able to hobble around with out crutches at this point. The next set of goals is to get strength back in my quads. It's amazing how quickly all muscle has left my leg.

Over my down time I had made a bunch of goals. Some of which came to pass. I read some books, played through some video games, took some naps with my daughter on my chest. Other goals I missed due to the fact that the caliber of pain medicine they had me on either put me in a cloud or straight to sleep. As my doc said..."Your knee will still hurt, you just won't care." Yup it was true.

So here's where I'm at. Still can't drive, still spending a lot of time on the couch. Off the pain meds, but still facing some swelling issues. (I'm wearing a styling stocking to help keep swelling down.) Tues. I head back to the office to kick off 2011 and really looking forward to it. I really think God has some great plans for the ministry and my family this year and the sooner I can get this knee thing behind me the better.

Finally I'm really looking forward to dropping in on that first wave of the spring.